the have and the all-you-can-haves

Illinois sheriff stops serving eviction notices

"I can't keep doing this and have a good conscience about it," the Sheriff said. "Not like with my dogs where I can keep beating them and I have no conscience."

Sheriff Thomas Dart is suspending foreclosure evictions in Cook County, well, actually, just on the street one Janet Singnette lives on. And, on streets Celeste Hobucket, Katy Konstant, Vicky Phillups, Cathy O'Conner, Sharon Beckonski and Susan Laidwaste live on. Though, the Sheriff vehemently denies any professional-personal factor conflicts involved. He just calls them "innocent victims of circumstance."

Illinois sheriff scolds banks for evictions of 'innocent' renters

"Let's just say I'm 'into' scolding, and leave it at that," the Sheriff confirmed.

The county had been on track to reach a record number of mortgage foreclosures evictions. The tenants the Sheriff is not evicting also set track records, at the local college.

"Many good tenants are suffering because owners have fallen behind on their mortgage payments!" he exclaimed on CNN. "Can't you imagine what better uses these tenants have for their behinds?"

"These poor people are seeing everything they own put out on the street. I'm not about to let them put out without having me involved. Here I am with my battering ram. It's insane!" Dart said.

Mortgage companies are supposed to identify a building's occupants before asking for an eviction. "I can do much better at identifying. And it's NOT like what they say, that I base my eviction decisions on the measurements of the tenants," the Sheriff added angrily.

"The banking industry has not done the work they should do. It's a piece of paper to them!" Dart said. "These tenants are more than just 'pieces' to me," he said, zipping up his fly.

"These mortgage companies don't care who gets hurt along the way. I do!" the Sheriff admitted. "These tenants care about getting hurt."

Dart said he wants the courts or the state Legislature to establish protections for those most harmed by the mortgage crisis. He's sending the state Legislature a list with 7 names and 4 "potential names" on it.

In 2006, Cook County had 18,916 mortgage foreclosure cases filed, and last year, 32,269 were filed. This year's total is expected to exceed 43,000.

"18-32-43, you see? These are the type of numbers I'm talking about," Dart said, enthusiastically.

"The people we're interacting with are, many times, oblivious to the financial straits their landlord are in," Dart explained. "And, many other times, after I visit them, they're just oblivious," he added, as an empty Jack Daniels bottle rolled out of his squad car's half-open door.

The Illinois Bankers Association bitterly opposed the plan, saying that Dart "should serve the eviction notices, not just serve the tenants. The reality is, he is carrying out 'vigilantism,' the Illinois banking industry is working hard to help troubled homeowners in many ways," it said.

"I wouldn't call what I do 'vigilantism,'" the Sheriff retorted with a smile. "I also work in many ways."

"I think the outrage on my part with them is that they could so cavalierly issue documents telling me to throw people out who have played by all the rules," the Sheriff challenged. "I happen to know personally these tenants play 'Calvary' by all the rules. Now they have to choose between cavalier and Calvary? I don't think so."

"They're blindly sending me out to houses where I'm coming upon innocent tenant after innocent tenant. The only time I care to be blinded is when I'm blindfolded, playing Calvary - Ride The Pony," the Sheriff acknowledged, adjusting his belt in a swaggering motion.